


SOYJOY

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Mantis - Freeform, bug sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 05:19:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17400764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Bob was a lucky mantis.  THanks to that wizard's spell, he was made of tofu.  Which meant he no longer had to worry about being devoured by his mates... until he met up with Milla.She's vegan.





	SOYJOY

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twosocksinalabcoat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twosocksinalabcoat/gifts).



> Written for Exchanges After Dark. A celebration of... "alternatively competent" fanfic.

Bob was the luckiest mantis alive.

Not only was he going to bang Mila, the hottest female Mantis there was, but he was even going to survive it!  Because he ever since he spared that magical hummingbird, he no longer had to fear being cannibalized mid-coitus.

Because he was granted one wish.

And that wish was to turn himself into animate tofu in the shape of a Mantis.

All of the banging, none of the getting his brain devoured.

No Mantis was as lucky as him.

As he approached Milla, he noticed her sizing him up.  She ran one of her raptorial forelimbs through her mandibles.  “Something about this makes me _hungry_.”

He just laughed it off.  “I guess I’ll have to keep your mind off it.  Don’t want to lose my head.”

“Aw, don’t worry.” Milla laughed, gripping him tight.  “Actually I’m a vegan, wouldn’t dream of devouring you… hey, do you smell tofu?  That’s probably what’s getting me hungry—making my mouth water, y’know?”

As they began thoroughly banging, with Milla obliviously chittering about how hungry she was and how good he was, Bob could only think one thing.

Oh fuck.

**Author's Note:**

> There is no excuse for this.


End file.
